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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331495">6 Feet Under And Still I Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/positivelypitch/pseuds/positivelypitch'>positivelypitch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Catarina Loss &amp; Ragnor Fell are besties, F/F, Heavy Angst, I promise it will have a happy ending, I'm so sorry, M/M, Magnus Bane Dies, Malec, Or does he, The Author Regrets Nothing, grieving Alec Lightwood, married Malec, ongoing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:14:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/positivelypitch/pseuds/positivelypitch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For the first time in the months since their self isolation, the cohort have made contact with the consul, Alec Lightwood-Bane. So Alec; his husband, Magnus; his parabatai, Jace; and his friend Clary Fairchild all accept the invitation and portal to Idris. </p><p>Only Magnus doesn't make it back. </p><p> So incredibly angsty, I feel mean for putting all my babies through it, but I promise it it'll all work out in the end.</p><p>Hehe</p><p>-Rosie x</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Catarina Loss &amp; Ragnor Fell, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Gwyn ap Nudd/Diana Wrayburn, Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow, Jem Carstairs/Tessa Gray, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 'Necessary Evils'</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Consul Lightwood,</p>
<p>We, the Shadowhunters in Idris have encountered more problems living in isolation than expected. As such, we would like to have a meeting with you in order to discuss how we might further move forward in a more prosperous way for the both our respective conclaves.</p>
<p>I hope you will join us tomorrow at 5 o’clock. Portal wards will be down between then and 5:30. </p>
<p>Yours, Lazlo Balogh”</p>
<p>When Magnus was done reading the message he passed it back to his husband, worrying at his lip with his thumb and forefinger, a habit Alec always found painfully cute. <br/>“Well, he called you ‘Consul’ so that’s an immediate red flag. They must be in serious trouble if they’re sucking up to you that much.”<br/>Alec scoffed “Or maybe they just like me?”.<br/>“Forgive me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the cohort say that they would ‘Not accept Alec Lightwood as their consul’. That doesn’t seem overly heartwarming.”<br/>“No, you’re right.” Alec said. “So should we go?”<br/>Magnus shrugged. “Love, this might be your only chance to negotiate with them. This is the first time the cohort has reached out in the months since the battle.”</p>
<p>A crash came from the other side of the open plan living room, and both men looked up to see their youngest son, Max, standing, bleary eyed in the doorway. One of his favourite truck toys had fallen out of his hand but he hadn’t noticed. </p>
<p>“Hey my Blueberry. You should be in Bed.” <br/>Magnus walked over and scooped up his son, speaking to him softly. Max curled into Magnus in a way that made his heart ache with happiness. </p>
<p>“Is he okay?”<br/>“Just nightmares, he’s okay. You want to say night night to Daddy?” This last bit was directed at Max, who nodded sleepily as Magnus carried him over to Alec. “I think you should go, Alexander. I’ll come to portal you in and out. Ask Clary and Jace.”</p>
<p>Alec kissed Max’s forehead and ruffled his blue curls. </p>
<p>“What about the kids?” <br/>“I’ll call Helen and Aline. I’m sure they’d love to have some babysitting practice. Especially now that Helen’s expecting. And the kids will want to see Tavvy.”</p>
<p>Max had fallen asleep in Magnus’ arms. <br/>“Okay.”</p>
<p>The next day the group had assembled. Clary and Jace were to come with them, and Simon, Izzy and Catarina were to stay behind in case they needed back up. </p>
<p>They had dropped Rafe and Max off at the Los Angeles institute earlier that afternoon, and the boys had promptly ran off to play with the youngest Blackthorn.</p>
<p>“Why now?” Jace asked, as Magnus prepared to make a portal. <br/>“They said they were in trouble. Maybe their expenses ran out. Maybe they finally got sick of each other. I’m surprised it took this long to be honest.” Alec held out his arm as Jace traced temporary tunes onto it. Jace snorted.</p>
<p>With a flourish, Magnus finished making the portal.<br/>“Are we ready?”<br/>Bracing himself, Alec took Magnus’ hand and stared into the portal, and into a place he hadn’t thought he’d ever see again. <br/>“I guess so.”</p>
<p>Alec and Magnus went first, Clary and Jace at their backs. <br/>On the other side, the group came face to face with Lazlo Balogh, in full Consul regalia. To his left, stood Zara Dearborn. Her brown hair was brushed tightly back in a high ponytail, and she was sporting her centurion’s uniform, pressed and polished. The colour scheme clashed horrendously with Lazlo’s robes, Alec thought, but he couldn’t judge. Magnus was always horrified by Alec’s inability to choose stylish outfits. </p>
<p>“Alexander Lightwood. It’s been a long time.” Lazlo stretched out a hand, which Alec reluctantly took. He did not hear the sounds of the portal closing behind him, but he couldn’t feel it’s magic either. He suspected that Magnus was keeping it just on the brink of existence, in case it needed to be reopened quickly.<br/>“Balogh.”<br/>“<i>Consul</i> Balogh actually.”<br/>It was also Consul Lightwood, <i>lightwood-bane</i>, actually, but Alec was determined to keep this civilised. <br/>“My apologies. So, may I ask why, after ensuring we could never come back to Alicante, have you invited us now?” <br/>“Well,” Lazlo began. His Hungarian accent was less prominent now, and <i>by the angel</i>, he was starting to sound a little like Zara. What a horrifying thought. “These are trying times. I’m afraid, living in isolation, we have run into some... difficulties.” </p>
<p>This last word was spoken differently, and moments later, Alec found out why. Within a second, the room was full of Shadowhunters, all their weapons drawn. Alec felt dread pool in his stomach. No, not dread... <i>shame</i>. How could he have been so stupid? Of course it was a trap. <br/>“My apologies Lightwood, necessary evils, you must understand.” <br/>Alec was about to reply when the portal blazed up behind the group. Jace had drawn his sword, and Clary’s hand was halfway to the dagger at her side. But Alec was unarmed. <br/>Magnus shouted “Go! Get back through the portal!”<br/>Jace and Clary darted for the glowing doorway. <br/>“Alexander! Go!”<br/>“Get them!” Zara screeched. </p>
<p>Alec didn’t have to be told twice, he ran through the portal and into the familiar training room of the institute he’d grown up in. He turned back towards the portal...<br/>And immediately regretted it. </p>
<p>There was Magnus, clear as day through the portal, in a suit jacket, purple shirt, and trousers. His husband’s eyes were wide, and shocked. </p>
<p>And there was a dagger in his chest. </p>
<p>Alec heard Clary gasp, and Jace drop his sword. The portal began to shrink as Magnus dropped to the floor. </p>
<p>The portal closed, because why wouldn’t it? As soon as a warlock dies, so do all the spells they’ve ever cast. </p>
<p>Alec’s legs gave way beneath him.</p>
<p>It was never going to be alright ever again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Staring Into space</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'Alec wasn’t shouting, or crying, or throwing things, he was just… <i>sitting there</i>.'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jace expected to be swept off his feet by emotion the moment Alec hit the floor. But he just felt empty. There was his parabatai, kneeling in front of him, staring into space. And what would Jace do? He was aware that Catarina had left the room; he would hear her gasping out words down the phone. Maybe to Ragnor, Maybe to Tessa and Jem. Izzy looked as lost as Jace felt, because Alec wasn’t shouting, or crying, or throwing things, he was just… <i>sitting there</i>. Clary <i>was</i> crying though, and Jace understood that too. Because after everything that Alec and Magnus had been through, oppression, and fear, and heartbreak and sickness, they deserved to be happy with their kids.</p>
<p>
  <i>Oh god, their kids.</i>
</p>
<p>“Alec,” Jace almost whispered, though he wasn’t sure why. He reached out and put a hand on Alec’s shoulder.</p>
<p>And Alec broke down. He curled in on himself, shoulders shaking violently. Jace wrapped his arms around his parabatai as Alec sobbed. Horrible, hoarse sobs that sounded like they were being ripped from him. Izzy was there now, brushing her hands through her brother’s hair. No one tried to console him, because how could they? They could not tell Alec that it would be okay. It was not okay. Even if Magnus had not- <i>It was too horrible to think-</i> but if the wound had not killed Magnus there and then, he would need healing in order to survive. And the cohort were probably the least likely people in the world to give that to him. </p>
<p>Alec’s sobs were now punctuated by breathless words that were barely audible. <i>No. Oh god, Magnus. Please. He’s- He’s not-. No. Magnus…</i> Jace’s heart broke.</p>
<p>After a while, Alec raised his head. He looked so young like this, like the unhappy, scared boy he had been before he’d met Magnus. It made Jace realise just how young Alec was to have the weight of a society on his shoulders.<br/>“We have to reopen the portal. He might- he could still be alive. We have to get him back.”<br/>There was a small voice from the corner.<br/>“We can’t…” It was Catarina. Tears streaked her pale blue face. She looked like <i>she</i> had been stabbed. “I tried. Ragnor tried, and Tessa tried- Alec-” Her voice broke. “I’m so sorry. They put the wards back up and I- I can’t feel his Magic.”</p>
<p>“<i>Oh god</i>” Alec hunched over again, gasping. <br/>“What’s going on?”<br/>Maryse was standing in the doorway. Izzy sobbed. Jace hadn’t even realised that she was crying, so he reached out and squeezed her hand.<br/>“Mom,” <br/>Maryse bent and gently pulled Alec from Jace’s arms. Alec was considerably taller than his mom, but she held him as if he were a kid again. She didn’t need to be told, Maryse was intelligent, but, even still, it wouldn’t take a genius to read the room. </p>
<p>Jace got up and went to stand by Clary and Simon. They both looked stricken, and Simon kept glancing at Clary, concerned. Izzy stayed by Alec and Maryse. The three of them all huddled close.</p>
<p>All that was left of the lightwood family.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this one was a little shorter, but it was fun to write XD</p>
<p>-Rosie x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Poor Kid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'One of the greatest mistakes you would make as an immortal was to believe that everyone else was immortal too.'</p><p>Alec has to tell his sons what happened and some of Magnus' oldest friends console eachother.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec stood in front of the whirling mass of the portal (Clary’s), the collar of his white mourning jacket scratching at his neck. Alec was in touch with hundreds of other warlocks in the area, but he didn’t have the heart to reach out for help. Catarina had gone to be with Ragnor later that night. The night that-</p><p>
  <i>Shit.</i>
</p><p>Alec wiped the beginnings of tears from his eyes and tried to concentrate. He had to get back to Rafe and Max. </p><p>Thank god for Helen and Aline; as soon as they heard the news, they offered to let the kids stay over in LA, so that Alec could take some time to himself. He’d spent the day screaming and being held by Jace and Izzy and writing desperate fire messages to Idris just- just hoping for good news. But all of those things made Alec feel ashamed, though he wasn’t sure why. He despised groveling at the feet of the cohort. But he had to know. He <i>needed</i> to know. </p><p>Sure enough, a message came that evening, signed with the same signature as before; <i>Lazlo Balogh</i>. It was curt, abrasive, and only a few words long, but they tore into Alec so much that he sunk to the ground, clutching the paper to his chest. Magnus would not be coming back. He would not be able to hold him ever again, or wake up in his arms, or hold his hand as they watched their kids play in the park.</p><p>He didn’t know how he was going to face his sons, but he owed them this as soon as possible, and Alec was going to be the one to tell them that their Papa was dead.</p><p>“Want me to keep the portal open?” Clary put her hand on Alec’s shoulder.<br/>
“No, it’s okay, I’ll text you when I need it open again.”<br/>
Clary nodded and stepped back, letting Alec walk through.</p><p>He didn’t even have to knock on the LA institute’s doors; as soon as he reached the tops of the steps, the doors flung open and Aline Penhallow launched herself at him, crushing him in a hug. Helen stood in the doorway, her hand resting protectively over her baby bump and her eyes full of sadness. For a moment, Alec hugged Aline back, but she pulled away after a few moments.</p><p>“The boys don’t know. Neither does Tavvy, but Dru does. And we told the others over the phone. I hope that's okay.”<br/>
Alec nodded and swallowed down the lump in his throat.<br/>
“Yes, that’s fine.” Alec kissed Helen on the cheek. “Where are they?”<br/>
“In the Library. I’ll take Tavvy out of there.”</p><p>Alec followed Helen to the Library, and stood to the side as she pulled a complaining Tavvy back towards the kitchen.</p><p>“Daddy!” Both Rafe and Max jumped up as Alec walked in. Max jumped up to be carried and Alec hugged Rafe to his leg, ruffling his hair.<br/>
“Hey my babies.”<br/>
Max launched into a detailed review of everything he had done in the past two days and it made Alec smile despite himself. Once Max had finished his story, Alec put him down and knelt in front of the both of them.</p><p>“Um,” <i>Focus. Don’t break now.</i> “So, you know Papa and I went on a mission yesterday?” Max nodded. “Well, um, it went wrong. And- er- Papa…”</p><p>Alec squeezed his eyes shut. Rafael took his hand. </p><p>“Papa didn’t make it back… I’m- I’m so sorry boys…”</p><p>Max just looked confused, but Rafe was on the verge of tears.<br/>
“Is- is he dead?”<br/>
It was too much. Alec couldn’t form any more words. He just nodded his head, and Rafe wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, and he held them both so close. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Catarina</b>
</p><p>One of the greatest mistakes you would make as an immortal was to believe that everyone else was immortal too. You lived your life on top of the world with your friends, and dealt with the losses when it came to it. But life was not perfect, and it would not last forever. When something made you remember that, it caused you to come crashing back to earth with all the pain and force of a three thousand foot fall. No matter how many times you tried to learn your lesson.</p><p>She had been angry at the Shadowhunters when she thought they had killed Ragnor; she didn’t have the energy to be angry now. Especially considering all the joy Magnus had gained from getting involved with the Nephilim. And Ragnor had not actually died anyway, so there was no room in her heart for bitterness. Only nostalgia, and longing, and regret.</p><p>She and Ragnor sat in her apartment, side by side, hands clasped. They were not crying, as Tessa had cried on the phone. They were not talking. Just existing side by side, lost without the point that completed their trio.</p><p>“Cat?”<br/>
“Hm?”<br/>
“Have you talked to Alec?”<br/>
“He was there when it happened.”<br/>
“Oh.”<br/>
“I haven’t spoken to him since then. He went to pick up the kids, I think.”<br/>
“Poor kid.”<br/>
“Yeah.”</p><p>There was a knock at the door.<br/>
“Who is it?” She called out.<br/>
“It’s me, and Jem.”<br/>
Ragnor perked up at the sound of Tessa’s voice. He waved his hand and the door opened. There stood Tessa and Jem, both dressed head to toe in white.<br/>
“Where’s Mina?” Catarina asked, getting up.<br/>
Jem hung up his and Tessa’s coats. “Kit’s looking after her.”<br/>
Tessa hugged Catarina, then Ragnor, and sat down with her husband on the other sofa.</p><p> “How are you doing?”<br/>
“I don’t know really. What about you?”<br/>
“It…. It feels wrong to think he’s gone.”<br/>
“I know.”<br/>
“Is there going to be a funeral?”<br/>
“I don’t know. Probably, but he never made it back to our side of the portal.”<br/>
“So the cohort has him?”</p><p>Ragnor got up and went to the kitchen, his long, green hands were clenched into fists. Caterina looked after him, about to reply when there came the sound of smashing glass.<br/>
“Excuse me for a second.”<br/>
Smiling sadly, Tessa hugged Jem’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder. He, in turn, pressed a soft kiss to the top of Tessa’s head. </p><p>When Catarina reached her kitchen, she found Ragnor standing by the counter, his knuckles white where he was gripping the edge of the sink. A glass was shattered at his feet, and the bottle of whiskey that Catarina kept for when Magnus came round lay on the kitchen counter beside him. </p><p>She came over, carefully avoiding the jagged shards of glass that littered the floor, and lay her hand on Ragnor’s back.<br/>
“Drinking won’t help.”<br/>
“It would be a start.”<br/>
“No it wouldn’t.”<br/>
“Cat…”<br/>
“We are so lucky, you know that?”<br/>
“What? Because we’re the survivors? Because after everything we’re <i>still living,</i> and Magnus is Dead? Because we get to remember him? I don’t want to remember him, I want him <i>alive</i> again!”</p><p>This was a strange thing to hear because there was part of Catarina that hadn’t really acknowledged their friend as fully dead. She knew he was of course, objectively speaking, but as Tessa said. It just didn’t seem real.</p><p>“I meant that we’re lucky because we got to have the most time with him. We can’t get him back but- but think of the kids. Rafe didn’t even get a year with his dad, and Max is so young he probably won’t remember much of him. But us? We had <i>centuries</i>. That's hundreds of years of memories. And I hate it. I hate that he’s gone and I hate that we can’t see him and I hate that the cohort probably threw his body in the nearest ditch.” Ragnor winced, and Catarina realised that she <i>was</i> crying now. </p><p>They hugged. Neither of them had signalled that they would, but it happened, because they both needed it. </p><p>Why didn’t it get easier? Losing people over the centuries, why did it always have to hurt so much?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I promise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'The second thing was that Magnus had to idea how he was alive.' </p><p>^^ self explanatory...</p><p>Magnus: I lived bitch</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus woke up to a searing pain in his chest. He felt like his entire midsection was on fire. But despite that, he was shivering. His jacket and shirt were missing, leaving his shoulders and the parts of his torso that weren’t wrapped in bandages, exposed to the icy stone floor.</p><p>That was the first thing. The second thing was that Magnus had to idea how he was alive. <em>Was</em> he alive? He slowly brought his hand to his chest and winced as his fingers brushed over the wound.<br/>
“Careful there.” Said a high pitched, annoying voice. Standing on the opposite side of a row of bars, was Zara Dearborn. “Your body started to heal itself but I wouldn’t want to test it.”<br/>
“Where am I?”<br/>
“In the guard. And don’t bother trying to escape, unless you want to kill yourself.” She was right. Magnus didn’t have the energy to sit up let alone break through reinforced ademas bars.<br/>
“Where’s Alec?”<br/>
“In New York, I think?” Zara giggled and spun her seraph blade. “He thinks you’re dead.”<br/>
Magnus blanched, the jigsaw pieces slotting together in his mind.<br/>
“Clever plan,” he wheezed. “Kill the consul’s husband and attack while he’s weak.”<br/>
Zara preened.<br/>
“Well you clearly don’t know my Alexander. He has suffered, <em>sacrificed</em> too much, to let this break him." Zara laughed which only filled him with more rage.<br/>
“He <em>sounded</em> broken in the fire messages he sent. <em>Begging</em> us to tell him if you were alive or not. He wanted to see you. Of course we told him this wasn’t possible, for obvious reasons. And he didn’t say anything after that.”</p><p>
  <em>Oh my Alec, my beautiful Alexander. I’ll come back to you. I promise. I’ll come back to you, and our boys and everything will be okay again.</em>
</p><p>“Why not actually kill me then? Why all the charade?”<br/>
“Well, I suggested that, but Manuel, you remember Manuel? Well, Manuel suggested we ask you some questions about the sorry excuse of a clave you’ve set up outside of Idris.”<br/>
Magnus’ eyelids flickered. He was losing strength.<br/>
“Don’t worry Warlock, you can sleep now. We need to get everything ready.”<br/>
<br/>
Magnus fought to stay conscious and lost. His last thought before blacking out, was that this was the second time he had lay dying in a cell, his capturer being a misled child, lost, and angry at the world. He could not bring himself to hate Zara.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Exhausted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'Magnus did not, at all, want to be motivated. But it was that, or putting everyone he loved at risk, which was not much of a choice at all.'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next time Magnus woke up, he was strapped to a chair. This was bad news, because, historically, very few good things came from waking up strapped to a chair. He tried to move his hands, to no avail. Then he noticed what he should have noticed immediately; he was looking out onto a crowd of 60 or 70 shadowhunters of varying ages. They were all lined up on rows of curved benches, eyeing him like hyenas. He expected they would cackle like hyenas too. The council room looked so empty, and yet so polished that the marble columns glistened. Magnus suspected that it was cleaned out of boredom, that </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of this was out of boredom. After all, what did shadowhunters do with no shadows to hunt?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole scene reminded him horribly of an incident in Rome, on his and Alec’s first holiday together. He had never wanted a repeat of that day, and yet here he was, about to relive the nightmare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Magnus Bane,”</span>
  <em>
    <span> Here we go.</span>
  </em>
  <span>“We have some questions for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lazlo stood from his seat on the front bench.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has that line seriously ever worked for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lazlo sauntered towards him and, without warning, kicked him in the chest. Magnus’ vision went white with pain, and he doubled over as far as he could, spitting blood onto his dirt stained dress trousers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No more smart talking Warlock.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus forced out the words between wheezes. “Right. Yup. No smart talking. Got it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lazlo sneered and bent down next to Magnus’ chair, like he was a teacher that was making an example of a bad student.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shadowhunters!” He bellowed. “Here is one who fought against us in the recent battle! A downworlder, a filthy warlock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The crowd cheered, and whooped. Magnus felt like he was on a live TV show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has closely entangled himself with the naive, ignorant, weak people that still call themselves Nephilim. But, Bane is our only way to get information on them. So tell me your questions, and he will answer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus scoffed. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I will not.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lazlo hit out at the wound again, causing Magnus to swear and curl up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you will not, we’ll just have to motivate you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus did not, at all, want to be motivated. But it was that, or putting everyone he loved at risk, which was not much of a choice at all.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One by one, the true believers fired questions at him, and every time, Magnus kept his mouth tight shut. In turn, Lazlo grew increasingly furious, and therefore more vicious. Magnus was determined not to cry out, but after not long, he was sitting up from sheer force of will alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And there was a bubble of magic manifesting in his chest (It wasn’t uncommon when Warlocks got extremely angry or upset). If he could just- &lt;i&gt;direct&lt;/i&gt; that magic in the right way, he might be able to get a message home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With every strike, the bubble grew. Blood dripped from slashes on his cheeks and arms, and oozed from the stab wound on his chest. But it was okay. Because now he had the best, worst thing possible. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hope.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next time Lazlo struck out, Magnus channelled all his energy into that core of benevolent magic, and released it. A shock wave rippled through the room, but no one looked physically affected - just shocked. That was fine. If it worked, it would only affect the people he wanted it to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT WAS THAT?” Lazlo shook Magnus violently, but he just sagged into the chair, laughing deliriously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so exhausted. If he just closed his eyes, he would be okay. Just for a second, he could rest his tired, tortured body…</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Now that school's starting back up again, updates are probably going to be less frequent, but I hope you'll stick with me to see how it all works out!</p><p>Stay safe! -Rosie x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Alive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'Alec waved his hands in front of his face. His fingers traced silver blue sparks, the colour of his own eyes.'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alec watched as his mother bounced Max on her lap and the toddler squealed in delight. The sound warmed his heart, and he rested his head on his hand, and turned his attention to his other son. Rafe was firing training arrows at the targets on the other side of the changing room, his delicate features scrunched up in concentration. Every time he missed the target it drew him closer to tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rafe?” His son turned towards him, his bowstring taught. “Why don’t you have a break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafe’s lower lip wobbled as he loosened the bow. He had receded into himself the past few days, speaking even less than he normally did, and mainly in Spanish. Alec did his best to reply though his spanish was still rusty. Unlike his brother, it seemed Rafe understood what had happened to his father, and the desperation to be able to comfort him clawed at Alec’s insides like a trapped demon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey it's okay my baby.” Alec got up from where he was sitting and moved quickly over to his eldest son, who reached his arms up for Alec. He swung Rafe up into his arms and kissed his forehead. “Se que estas triste, también estoy triste.” Rafael sniffed and tucked his head into Alec’s head as he rocked him gently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was when the magic hit him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The force of it almost knocked Alec off his feet as it embedded himself in his chest. He hastily put Rafe down for fear of dropping him, and Maryse looked up at him, concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alec?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec waited to drop dead, or turn into a frog (he didn’t know), but all he felt was a comforting, familiar sensation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, your fingers are blue. Like Max’s!” This made Rafe giggle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alec waved his hands in front of his face. His fingers traced silver blue sparks, the colour of his own eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait,</span>
  </em>
  <span> no, he recognised this feeling. Now he thought about it, he didn’t know how he hadn’t realised it immediately. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone buzzed monotonously in his pocket and he fished it out, accepting the call.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alec!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Catarina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Magnus’-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You felt it too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, so did Ragnor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh-what does it mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a distress signal. I- I think Magnus could still be alive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to get to Alicante, </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Flying Horses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'He didn’t care. He would cut down armies, endure torture, sell his soul to a demon, if it meant he could see Magnus again.'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alec nearly dropped his phone in his haste, shouting for Clary and Jace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alec?” His mother put Max down, and he happily began gnawing on one of Rafe’s plastic arrows. “Is everything okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jace and Clary came into the room and Alec rushed towards them, clinging to Jace’s shirt sleeve without meaning to. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We- Please, I need you to come with me to Alicante.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alicante? Alec, why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alec shook his head. “I- I just felt Magnus’ magic. And so did Catarina and Ragnor. I know- </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know </span>
  </em>
  <span>it might not mean what I think it means but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to find out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jace put his hand on Alec’s shoulder. It felt like a crutch, a support, and it steadied him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Breathe, </span>
  </em>
  <span>parabatai</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span> We will go with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll watch the kids.” Maryse stooped to pick up Max again, subtly pulling the arrow out of his grip and making him wail. “Shhh little one.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alec held his arms out to his son, his initial panic fading as his mother placed Max in his arms. The little blue warlock immediately stopped crying, and in the midst of all of it, he remembered the first time he’d held his son in his arms. He rocked the toddler slowly, glancing at his friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The wards will still be up around Alicante, there’s no way we can portal in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll have to portal to the border of Idris,” Clary said. “And then cross the land on foot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That will take </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Horseback?” Suggested Jace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That will still take too long! You don’t get it- Catarina said that it- that it was a distress signal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It could be a trap, Alec”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I</span>
  <em>
    <span> don’t care.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He pleaded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t care. He would cut down armies, endure torture, sell his soul to a demon, if it meant he could see Magnus again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Daddy?” Max perked up, still curled in Alec’s arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes my baby?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go on the flying horses!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alec laughed. “Maxie, we don’t have flying horses.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait!” Jace looked like he’s had an epiphany. “What about the wild hunt? We could get in touch with Diana and Gwyn, and meet them at the border. You’re so clever, aren’t you Max?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Max giggled as Jace ruffled his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That could work…” Alec said, his heart lifting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was how Alec and this others found themselves face to face (Well almost. There was a considerable height difference) with Gwyn ap Nudd, Diana Wrayburn, and three majestic fairy steeds.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you so much for this great kindness.” Alec addressed the hunter as formally as possible, always wanting people to feel respected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gwyn nodded solemnly. “It is an honour to assist you Alexander Lightwood-Bane. You have done much in repairing the relationship between fairies and shadowhunters.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s right Alec,” Diana smiled and touched Alec’s arm lightly. “And I’m so sorry about Magnus.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not wanting to raise anyone’s hopes, especially his, Alec smiled faintly in thanks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“One will have to ride alone.” Gwyn gestured to the horses as Diana mounted Orion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You go, Alec.” Clary smiled. “I’ll ride with Jace.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They all clambered up onto their horses, Clary perched behind Jace, and Diana’s arms around Gwyn. Upon Gwyn’s signal, they urged their horses on. Alec’s heart skipped a beat as they rose off the ground and Idris fell away underneath them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The biting wind roared in Alec’s ears and, just as the glass city came into view on the horizon, he laughed into the sky. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Alexander, no, let’s just go home. I’ve missed you so much. I want to see our kids.”</p><p>(This chapter switches POVs a couple of times. It's marked with a line xx)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Magnus woke to a loud thud and the sound of running footsteps. He scrambled instinctively back against the walls of his cell, as if that would somehow make him invisible. It injured his pride to cower and hide, but he was fully aware that if any if the cohort tried to ‘motivate’ him again, he wouldn’t survive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Magnus?” A voice whispered. It was Alec’s voice. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh great! </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thought, distantly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m hallucinating too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus tried to summon up enough magic to protect himself, to avail. The footsteps grew louder as they neared him, each thud mirroring his rapidly beating heart.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Alec was there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was gasping Magnus’ name, his stele already tracing an open rune onto the bars that kept them separated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alexander...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gate flew open and Alec ran towards him and dropped to his knees in front of Magnus. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus reached for Alec’s gear jacket and pulled himself to his knees with what little strength he had left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alec’s hands were shaking as he hovered them over the cuts on Magnus’ cheeks. He brought them down and ran them over Magnus’ shoulders and down his arms, as if he was trying to map out every part of him. Magnus looked into Alec’s eyes. They were full of tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Magn-” Alec’s voice broke and his hands moved to Magnus’ waist. “I don’t- don’t care if I’m dreaming-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus smiled at his husband. “You’re not dreaming love.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled Alec forward by his jacket lapels and kissed him, hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It  was everything. He had nearly forgotten how it felt to hold Magnus, to kiss him. He slid his arms around the warlock and pulled him in so that there were no spaces between them. Magnus’ hands were cupped around Alec’s face, swiping away the tears. They were both laughing and crying and touching as clumsily as they had when they had started dating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They pulled away and restes their foreheads together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I’d lost you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was the worst feeling ever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not, look at you. Who did this to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, Lazlo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He kept calling me Magnus Bane, instead of <em>Lightwood</em>-Bane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s even more reason to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alexander, no, let’s just go home. I’ve missed you so much. I want to see our kids.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alec smiled, nodded, and kissed Magnus again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>After what somehow seemed like both forever, and no time at all, they forced themselves apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should go, Jace and Clary are standing watch. Can you walk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus doubted he would but he nodded anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, just lean on me as much as you need. We'll call Catarina as soon as we get home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Home.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alec stood and helped Magnus to his feet, and took most of his weight. The wound in his chest throbbed ominously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take some of my strength Magnus. Your wound is bleeding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without a word, Magnus grasped Alec’s hand in his, and concentrated. Their joined hands started to shimmer. Immediately, the pain began to ease, and they stumbled out of the cell and down the way Alec had entered. It was a much longer walk then he’d expected, but for some reason, they did not run into any cohort members. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone’s at a council meeting.” Alec said when he saw Magnus’ confused face. “There’s only a few guards here, with only one prisoner, and we took care of them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After twenty minutes of walking through twisting corridors and out door alleyways, they rounded a corner and came face to face with Clary and Jace, hand in hand. Clary, not being able to help herself, threw herself at Magnus, who stumbled and winced but hugged her back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey there Biscuit.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clary pulled back, marvelling at the sight of him. Jace was embracing Alec, who was grinning ear to ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you’re here Magnus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprise.” Magnus couldn’t help but smile too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” Asked Jace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, got some patching up to do, but I’ll be ok. Mainly, I want to go home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Reunite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'Magnus grinned up at her.<br/>She bent and kissed Magnus on the cheek. “I missed you too.”'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Catarina was there as soon as they portalled to the institute, rushing over to Alec and helping to carry Magnus (who had passed out as soon as they crossed through the portal) to the infirmary. Ragnor had come too, and was now standing in the corner, his eyes fixed on Magnus and his tall frame tense with worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alec stood at the side of Magnus’ bed, his hand clasped tightly in Isabelle’s. She had been mad that she wasn’t invited on the mission, but had forgotten her anger as soon as she saw her (presumed dead) brother in law, lying there breathing. As for the kids, Maryse was still looking after them. Alec didn’t want to overwhelm Magnus with two kids jumping on him the moment he woke up. This also meant that he himself was not allowed to jump on Magnus the moment he woke up, which was a little disappointing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wound on Magnus’ chest had healed to a harsh, pink-white scar, and Catarina looked exhausted. Even still, she began to heal the cuts and burns on Magnus’ arms, (Which could only have been from a stele. The thought made Alec’s insides boil with rage.) when Magnus began to stir. Alec gently let go of Izzy’s hand and dropped to Magnus’ side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Magnus blinked and opened his eyes. Catarina perched on the edge of the bed and looked down at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cat…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there stranger.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus sat up groggily, and noticed his grumpy green friend in the corner. “Ragnor! Why is it we always reunite in the worst circumstances?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ragnor rolled his eyes, but Alec noticed that the tension had eased from his shoulders. Catarina put her hand to Magnus’ cheek and the cuts seemed to melt away before Alec’s eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, to Alec’s surprise, Catarina brought her hand back, and slapped Magnus across the face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you EVER scare your friends like that okay? Stop getting yourself into dire life and death situations! We thought you were dead!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus looked half scandalised, half ashamed. “I didn’t do it on purpose Catarina!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catarina just nodded brusquely and went over to Ragnor, who was smirking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you miss me mon petit poi?” Magnus held his cheek and looked up at Ragnor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was glad for the peace and quiet really, though I think the world’s glitter trade would have suffered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ragnor adjusted his hair around his horns as Catarina stage-whispered. “He did miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus grinned up at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bent and kissed Magnus on the cheek. “I missed you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Isabelle reached out and squeezed Alec’s shoulder. “We’ll give you guys some time alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isabelle,” Magnus croaked. “Could you get Max and Rafe for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Izzy smiled “Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She, Catarina and Ragnor all left the room, chatting happily. When Alec turned back to Magnus, he had shifted to the other side of the bed, and was holding the covers open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lie with me? Just for a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec beamed, warmth flooding his chest as he climbed into the bed next to Magnus and curled into his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better now. And you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s weird. My body hasn’t caught up with the fact that I don’t need to grieve anymore. It’s like I feel the need to still feel that pain, but I don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus kissed Alec’s forehead tenderly, and ran a gentle hand through his dark, messy hair. In return, Alec hummed and tightened his arms around Magnus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Alexander.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec smiled up at him. He’d always found it so hard to say, unless there was a special occasion, especially not in so many words. But right now it felt ok, It felt right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too. I’m so happy you’re back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“PAPA!!!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, their two sons came tumbling into the room, buzzing with excitement. They both clambered onto the bed, or at least Max tried, him being only just a bit taller than the bed itself. Alec grinned and lifted him up, sitting up and placing the giggling toddler in his lap. Rafe had his arms around Magnus’ neck and was hugging him so tight that he thought Magnus might choke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rafe,” Alec said gently. “Careful, Papa is still healing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rafe pulled back and looked at Alec. “Mentiste Daddy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alec scoffed. “I didn’t lie, Rafael! I thought Papa wasn’t coming back, but he has.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rafe’s frown slowly turned into a grin and he launched himself at Alec, nearly squishing his brother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know dad, I was joking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long will you stay Papa?” Max asked dubiously, and Magnus grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Forever and ever little one. There’s no getting rid of me now.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>YAY!</p><p>They're back together once again!<br/>Only one more chapter to go, one dedicated to our favourite little warlock and nephilim, talking it out as best they can given Max's limited vocabulary...</p><p>Love y'all,</p><p>-Rosie x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I'm here, little one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Max and Rafe have a heart to heart, as do their parents.</p><p>Just some tooth rotting fluff to end a very angsty fic. I feel like we all deserve it after such a shitty year.<br/>I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Max did not like to hear Rafe cry. Mainly because his big brother did not cry often. He had when Papa was gone, which Max understood. Because he had missed his Papa. His Bapak.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now Papa was back. Looking much more grey than Max remembered, but if Max knew anything, it was that sometimes you weren’t the colour that everyone expected. His Papa had told him, when a group of very tall Shadowhunter girls had looked down at him with eyes full of cruelty, that being a warlock, and being blue, was something to be proud of. And that people who looked at him like that must be very sad inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His parents were lying together on one of their worn leather couches. They were both dozing peacefully, his Dad’s arms curled protectively around Papa, as the TV show they had been watching played on and the late afternoon sun filtered through the floor to ceiling windows that looked out onto the bustling traffic of New York City. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Max blinked at the light before turning back to his game of Barbie’s vs Dinosaur Figurines, in which incidentally, the Barbies were indisputably victorious. It was much easier, Max assumed, to win a war when you had limbs that could actually move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bleugh bleugh bleughh!!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He giggled to himself as one of his dolls aggressively attacked a stegosaurus. Then he heard it. A soft sniffling and whimpering that floated down the hall from his older brother’s room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rafe?” He called out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got up, still clinging to his favourite Barbie/ dinosaur incinerator, and padded along the hall to Rafael’s room. The door was painted a comforting pale blue, and on it hung a painted wooden letter - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rafe's </span>
  </em>
  <span>Letter. He knew this because he also had a matching one with </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>letter, on </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>door. They were decorated with tiny stars and swirls, and had been a present from their aunt Clary, for their first Christmas as brothers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knocked on the door, unable to reach the handle, and, after a very long and quiet few seconds, it opened, just a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Raffa?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael looked down at him, his jaw clenched and his chestnut hair sweeping over his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Max?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were crying Raffa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was not crying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rafe.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rafe sighed a very long sigh, which made him sound like Uncle Ragnor, and let Max into the room. Everything about this room reminded him of his brother, from the pairs of light up sneakers stored neatly against the wall, to the bed covers covered in illustrations of mythical creatures. When their parents were asleep, Max would creep into Rafe’s room, and they would hide under the covers, giggling, while Rafe told him stories about the creatures, and Max made them move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you crying Raffa?” Maz toddled over to a beanbag and sat down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rafael crawled up onto his bed and lay down, facing his brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss Papa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa’s here Raffa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I know that Maxie but it just </span>
  <em>
    <span>feels</span>
  </em>
  <span> like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He put down the barbie doll and placed his head into his little hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B-because Dad said that Papa was-” Rafe seemed to correct himself “That he was gonna be gone forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he came back, Raffa!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-but-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, little one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no, Papa’s here. Covert mission has been breached. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>---------</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnus was leaning in the doorway, smiling at his sons. Max was grinning cheekily, as if Magnus had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar, or (more likely for Max), Magnus’ makeup organiser.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rafael perked up slightly and the sound of Magnus’s voice, but he had tear stains running down his flushed cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus glided swiftly over to Rafael’s bed and sat down next to him, pulling him into his arms and waving his hand, which sent a giggling Max floating over to them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry for scaring you, my babies. But I promise I’m not leaving again. Ok?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rafe nodded sleepily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, little one. It’s past your bedtime, both of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Max wriggled and protested as Magnus picked him up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No bedtime! No Papa, I wanna stay with Raffa!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that, Alec entered the room, looking adorably sleepy, Magnus thought. He gently took Max from Magnus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you being a cheeky monkey, Max?” Alec chucked him on the chin. Max giggled and shook his head. “I think you are. I think it’s time for cheeky monkeys to go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus watched this exchange, unable to stop smiling as he tucked Rafe into bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you sing a lullaby Papa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus nodded after a moment, and began to sing an old indonesian lullaby, older than him, in fact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both boys were asleep in minutes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as both the kids were tucked into bed, fast asleep, Alec caught Magnus in the hallway. He wrapped an arm around Magnus’ waist and pulled him against him. His other arm came round and Alec just held him, enjoying the soft exclamation of surprise, before Magnus draped </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> arms delicately over Alec’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They swayed for a while, dancing without music; there was no need for it. And when they kissed, they fit together perfectly. It was a slow, loving kiss, giving them the comfort that they both needed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was perhaps minutes before they both pulled away. Cheeks flushed and pupils blown. Alec put his hand ever so gently over Magnus’ wound. It had nearly healed thanks to Catarina, and Magnus’ warlock body, but still it throbbed against Alec’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does it hurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Barely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you lying?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alec took a shuddering breath. His mind was unhelpfully playing the past few days on repeat. Images of pain and grief and love and healing flashed before his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alexander?” Magnus’ voice was almost at a whisper</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes love?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you thinking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The fact that you keep nearly dying. And I keep feeling so helpless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You saved me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t change the fact of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Magnus’ hand moved down to cup Alec’s cheek. Alec, as he had on their first date and so many times after, turned his face into his husband’s palm and kissed it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re never not going to live life in danger. You told me that when you proposed. And it’s never going to be easy. We have to understand that tragedy is a possibility, but never, </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span>, expect or accept that it’s inevitable. If you live life in preparation for death then what’s the point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alec didn’t really have anything to say to this. He wasn’t wise, and eloquent as Magnus was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Magnus Lightwood-Bane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, my Alec.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope y'all have an awesome new year! If you've got any requests or prompts than please let me know!<br/>Stay safe my loves! -Rosie x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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